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Reflecting on a Year of "Doing Nothing"

angelia trinidad

Cave exploring in Khao Sok, Thailand

Cave exploring in Khao Sok, Thailand

"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." - A. Gide 

With so many of my friends recently graduating and on the job hunt it has me thinking "Damn, I've been out of school for a year and have not once had a "job-job". Living with my parents I get the pressure almost daily to find stability and to establish myself. But the artist in me resists, I just can't imagine working for someone else or on someone else's agenda. It's like getting hired to paint a famous persons painting so that a rich person can buy it; I'd much rather be able to follow my own intuition and do my even if no one else but me sees it. 

I've realized, it is easy for me to be normal and fit into the box that society creates for me, to use my education credentials and "skills" to work for a corporation, do what I'm told, chase the American dream of a career with benefits, a house and a picture perfect family while pleasing my stability minded parents, but that is just not what I want. I simply want freedom. 

Lose sight of the shore. Be courageous and just be your honest self, chart your own path, chase your true passions, deal with uncertainty of risk, live off only the essentials and let go of all of the little things that you just don't need. Have the strong will to just leave your comfort zone, experiment and accept that things WILL blow up in your face and not go to plan. When that happens all you can do is get up, reflect and start all over. Remember the hardest part is the start. 

I'm not saying working is bad, it's just not for me.

I'm not lazy, I just don't want to be paid to chase someone elses dreams.

I want a passion that I can work hard at that I make just enough money from to survive. 

I might not have a stable 9-5 but I'm on that 24/7-continual-learning-nurture-your-body-strengthen-your-soul-do-good-love-freely-fail (and learn)- young-type schedule. 

Angelia Trinidad

San Diego, CA